Get ready to unleash a world of giggles with our enchanting collection of Harry Potter jokes, perfect for young wizards and witches. As we step into the magical corridors of Hogwarts, laughter echoes through the halls, casting a cheerful spell on all who join the adventure.
Each joke is a broomstick ride into the heart of the wizarding world, promising a potion of fun that’s brewed just right for kids. So let your imaginations soar and prepare for some spellbinding humor that brings the magic of Harry Potter to life!
Funniest Jokes Of Harry Potter
- Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?
- So you’ll never know which side he’s on!
- How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash?
- With quit-itch cream!
- Why did Barty Crouch Jr. stop drinking Butterbeer?
- It was making him Moody.
- What do you call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells?
- Pregnant.
- What do you call a wizard who never showers?
- A pongo wizard!
- What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord?
- A Volt-demort.
- How do Death Eaters freshen their breath?
- With Dementos.
- Why don’t muggles bother with the internet?
- They can’t handle the Hogwarts WiFi!
- What do you call a magical dog?
- A Labracadabrador.
- Why did the Slytherin cross the road twice?
- To prove he wasn’t chicken.
- What kind of cereal do Hogwarts students eat?
- Hufflepuffs.
- Why was the broom late?
- It overswept!
- What would you hear if Voldemort slipped in the shower?
- He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Wet!
- What’s a wizard’s favorite makeup?
- Mascara-dra.
- How can you tell if someone’s a pureblood?
- Don’t worry, they’ll let you know!
Knock Knock Jokes Of Harry Potter
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
**Harry up and answer the door! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ron.
Ron who?
**Ron over here, I have a funny spell to show you! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hermione.
Hermione who?
**Hermione way to Hogwarts and I lost my map! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dumbledore.
Dumbledore who?
**Dumble door is open, come on in! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Voldemort.
Voldemort who?
**Do you mind not saying my name out loud? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Draco.
Draco who?
**Draco all the way here and you’re not going to let me in? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Severus.
Severus who?
**Sever us a slice of cake, please! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hagrid.
Hagrid who?
**Hagrid you not recognize me with this beard? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lupin.
Lupin who?
**Lupin around for my lost wand. Seen it? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bellatrix.
Bellatrix who?
**Bella tricks are for kids, not Death Eaters! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mad-Eye.
Mad-Eye who?
**Mad-Eye know where you can get a magical eye like mine? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cedric.
Cedric who?
**Cedric the moment, we’re having fun now! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Moody.
Moody who?
**Moody you think was going to answer? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Sirius.
Sirius who?
**Siriusly, you need to read more about me in the books! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dobby.
Dobby who?
**Dobby has heard you were looking for a free elf!
Harry Potter One Liners
- “I’m not lazy, I’m just saving my energy for the Triwizard Tournament.”
- “You can give a wizard a wand, but you can’t make him spell.”
- “I tried to catch some fog. I mist.”
- “Accio coffee! This wizard needs a caffeine spell.”
- “I don’t need a cloak to become invisible; I just turn off my phone.”
- “I find reading spell books quite spellbinding.”
- “Why play hide-and-seek with a wizard? He’ll always find a way to Snape out of it.”
- “I don’t trust stairs; they’re always up to something or down to no good.”
- “I used to have a job at a broom factory, but I got swept away.”
- “My patronus is a couch potato.”
- “Why did the wizard bring a ladder to Hogwarts? He heard the school was up to something!”
- “Ghosts make the best comedians; they’re always a-slaying ’em!”
- “I told the Dementor a joke… but it sucked the life out of the room.”
- “Hogwarts’ favorite method of transportation? Flying classes!”
- “I went to Diagon Alley to buy an invisibility cloak, but I couldn’t see what the fuss was about.”
Magical Harry Potter jokes
- Q: What kind of spells do cows use?
A: Moo-defying spells! - Q: Why did the wizard take a nap?
A: To rest up for spelling class! - Q: What do you call a wizard who raises chickens?
A: A chicken potter! - Q: How do you know if a potion is good?
A: If it has a spell-binding taste! - Q: What spell do you use to find lost books?
A: Accio facto! - Q: Why did the magical plant go to therapy?
A: It had too many hang-ups! - Q: What do you call a magical parade?
A: A wand-erful procession! - Q: How do wizards send mail to their enemies?
A: By Bitter Owl! - Q: What do you get when you cross a wizard with a computer?
A: A machine that crashes and spells! - Q: Why did the magical chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the spell shop on the other side! - Q: What happens if a wand gets lost?
A: It casts itself away! - Q: Why don’t magical creatures use smartphones?
A: They have spell phones! - Q: What do you call a fight between two magical creatures?
A: A beast brawl! - Q: How do young wizards get to school?
A: They take the spelling bus! - Q: What’s a wizard’s favorite type of music?
A: Anything with a good spell-o!
Common Jokes About Harry Potter
- Why did the Quidditch player go to the bench?
- He needed a time-out!
- What do you call a magical owl?
- Hoo-dini!
- Why did Harry Potter sit on the broom?
- To sweep the competition!
- How does a wizard tell time?
- With a witch watch!
- What kind of shoes do wizards wear?
- Pointed loafers!
- Why did the spell book join the band?
- It had the best notes!
- What’s a wizard’s favorite subject in school?
- Spelling!
- Why do Hogwarts students do well on tests?
- Because they can handle the pressure!
- What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers?
- A Tyrannosaurus Hex!
- Why don’t muggles matter in Quidditch?
- Because they can’t see the Snitch!
- How do wizards organize a party?
- The planet!
- Why are dementors at Hogwarts so good at football?
- Because they always catch the seeker!
- What does a wizard do when his broom is broken?
- He takes a witch-hike!
- What’s a wizard’s favorite way to surf the internet?
- On the Wiz-web!
- Why did the wizard bring a broom to soccer?
- To sweep up the competition!
Best Jokes For Kids On Harry Potter
- Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road?
- So you’ll never know which side he’s on!
- How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash?
- With quit-itch cream!
- What do you call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells?
- Pregnant.
- What do you call a wizard who never showers?
- A pongo wizard!
- What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord?
- A Volt-demort.
- How do Death Eaters freshen their breath?
- With Dementos.
- Why don’t muggles bother with the internet?
- They can’t handle the Hogwarts WiFi!
- What do you call a magical dog?
- A Labracadabrador.
- Why did the Slytherin cross the road twice?
- To prove he wasn’t chicken.
- What kind of cereal do Hogwarts students eat?
- Hufflepuffs.
- Why was the broom late?
- It overswept!
- What would you hear if Voldemort slipped in the shower?
- He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Wet!
- What’s a wizard’s favorite makeup?
- Mascara-dra.
- How can you tell if someone’s a pureblood?
- Don’t worry, they’ll let you know!
- Why did Voldemort buy a stress ball?
- To help with his gripes about Harry!
Frequently Asked Questions
Q1. What makes a good Harry Potter joke?
A: A clever play on words or puns related to the Harry Potter universe that fans can appreciate.
Q2. Are these jokes suitable for children?
A: Yes, they are generally family-friendly and perfect for young fans.
Q3. Where can I find more Harry Potter jokes?
Look on fan sites, social media groups, or books dedicated to Harry Potter trivia.
Q4. Can I share these jokes at a party?
A: They are great for Harry Potter-themed events and as conversation starters.
Q5. How can I create my own Harry Potter joke?
A: Combine familiar elements from the series with classic joke structures like puns or knock-knock jokes.
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