Funny Rhetorical Questions

funny rhetorical question

Talking to people these days has become a tedious task. Sometimes I feel that I should be paid a handsome amount to engage in social conversations with people. Why do you ask? Have you not noticed how stupid most people are these days?

They are ultra-dumb and can grill you to death with their stupidity.

When I go to social gatherings, all I can hear them say is “blah blah blah” *giggle* *giggle* *giggle*. None of that ever makes sense to me.

But alas! My parents find such conversations very entertaining. I feel if I don’t partake in such nonsensical events I may lose out on some knowledge capable of guiding me in the path of enlightenment.

Thus to satisfy my parents and to get dinner I attend such gatherings and talk to people.

It was in one such party, bored and annoyed to death that I got thinking, how will it be to make these people get a taste of their own medicine? How about using some intelligently stupid questions to confuse them?

Well, they may not stop talking altogether, (which will, by the way, be great) but such questions can make them shut up for a good some time!

It was a brilliant idea thanks to my pure genius. Over the next few months, I compiled a list of funny rhetorical questions that may come in handy for you if you ever get stuck with stupid people. So here goes.

When someone says that she/he owns a piece of land, do they own it to the center of the Earth?

If Darwin’s theory is true, and we all have evolved from apes and chimps, how come these animals are still there?

Funny Rhetorical Questions

What will happen if an African elephant goes to America? Will be called an African-American elephant?

After I formulated these questions over 4 months, I had to test the outcome. So I waited and waited for an invitation to come.

I kept asking my parents if an invitation to a social gathering had arrived. As my questions got frequent, their concerns got heightened. They settled for two options to justify my behavior, either love or drug addiction, there was no in-between.

But since no invitation came, I grew impatient. Finally, after a wait that seemed to last for eras,  a party invitation did arrive.

It was perhaps the first time in my life that I was so super excited about going to a party. I walked in with full confidence. Smiled at all present there and started to engage in conversations.

As soon as I heard people say “blah blah blah” I quickly popped one of my funny rhetorical questions. Soon their smiles were replaced with confusion. Then back to smiling. Then again confusion. Their expression went haywire, their eyes went blank! Oh, what a treat it was to see them like that!

As the party went on I kept popping more of my funny rhetorical questions. People soon started avoiding me. I was relieved from the pressure of discussing sheer stupidity with them.

But I knew this was not the end. I needed more funny rhetorical questions in my stash to keep stupid people at bay. So I began working on some more soon:

With all these funny rhetorical questions prepared, I can take on any stupid person and shut them up with scotch tape.

In addition to the expression people have on their faces after they hear these questions, I love the silence that follows. Most of them get confused about whether or not to answer it, while others excuse themselves to save any further embarrassment.

It’s absolutely fun and highly recommended. Be sure to try it in your next party!

My parents don’t like to take me to parties anymore. I now beg to go.  Finally, the tables have turned at last.

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